Wednesday, December 12, 2007

I condone both drinking and Larry Munson

I'm cleaning out some old files and feel the need to save this for posterity. It's "The Larry Munson Drinking Game." I have no idea who made it up. My favorites are No. 7 and No. 12.

1) When Larry says "Get the picture now" everyone must do a shot to start the game.

2) The first time Larry says "Loren, whatdaya got?" everyone must reply "Well, Larry" in a high-pitched voice. The last one to do this becomes Loren and must say "I gotta drink" and then drink each time Larry says whatdaya got? for the first half. But at the start of the second half, "Loren" gets to say "I gotta drink for ———" and then gives away a drink to someone each time Larry says whatdaya got? "Loren" must do all this is a high-pitched Loren Smith voice.

3) If the real Loren tells a story that has nothing to do with the game, such as how much a player loves his mama or how the Girl Scout troop cooked s'mores for the team, everybody drinks one.

4) If Loren actually says something useful, like telling what's wrong with an injured player, everyone drinks three.

5) Every time Larry exaggerates a figure, whether it be yardage, the speed of the wind, how cold it is, etc. everyone drinks two. Examples: "and he kicked it up past the moon" "the wind's blowing a hundred miles an hour" "it's fourth down and 27 miles" etc.

6) The first time Larry bemoans how much trouble the Bulldogs are in when they are clearly in control of the game, everyone drinks two. Example: "The Dawgs are up 31-0, but they've (they being UAB, Central Florida, Vanderbilt, etc.) got that little fast tailback and you know he can just explode for a thousand yards at any moment." Every time after that when Larry talks about how much trouble the Dawgs are in, everyone drinks one. (If, by consensus, the group decides the Dawgs actually are in trouble, "Loren" drinks two.)

7) Every time Larry says "There's no time" everyone drinks one. If more than five minutes are left in the game when he says there's no time, everyone drinks two. Ten minutes, three. If more than a quarter remains, everyone does a shot of tequila.

8) Every time Scott Howard interrupts Larry, everyone drinks one.

9) Every time Larry talks about the fans coming into/going out of the stadium, everyone drinks one.

10) Every time Larry mentions the officials, everyone drinks one.

11) Every time Larry says "whatchmacallit," everyone drinks three.

12) If the game ends on a spectacular play with Larry saying something like "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" and then nothing for like a minute, leaving you to think he might've died, everyone drinks one for each "GOD" Larry shouts.

13) If Georgia beats Florida, everyone drinks a toast to the Dawgs and yells, "Go Dawgs!"

14) If Larry ever says the phrase "hob-nailed boot" again, everyone poors their drink into a boot and "Loren" drinks it.

15) If at the end of the game, Larry says "Old Lady Luck smiled on us" everyone toasts Old Lady Luck and drinks a shot.

16) Anyone in the room not rooting for the Dawgs must double the amount of drinks taken. Any Florida fans in the room must triple it. Since Tech fans are wusses and don't drink, they must substitute getting punched in the head by "Loren."


Alice said...

That is absolutely hilarious! I want to play...but I am usually at the home games so we will have to listen to Larry and do this in the stands! No problem, I am sure we will have plenty of whiskey!

Brett said...

Every time over the past few years that I've read that game, I almost piss myself.