Optimism: Not just for August

Joe: When you're not good, you also have bad luck

Me: So all whammies are self whammies.

Joe: If you are good, Ben Jones flies right through Kris Durham.

At the 1:49 mark Ben Jones does NOT fly through Kris Durham.

I listen to my friend Dan Starnes when he talks about football because he's been one of the more reasonable people I know on the subject. For example, before 2008 he did not chant "Fire Mark Richt!," unless it was meant in satire.

In more recent years his plan that Coach Richt remain our coach, but coach differently, advanced. He became less fun to talk to. But, two days ago, he left me a message that was not so pessimistic:

You know I'm actually not that down. That game hurt. But I think we've got a lot of positive things happening. Obviously we'll know better after the Auburn game, but I don't know.

I don't I think it's all gloom and doom. I think we could be in good shape. That's hard to say when you're 4-5, but we'll see. If we can get by the Auburn game without the one thing happening that's happened every season since 2006, including 2006, where we've been blown out in games — that hasn't happened this year. Freshman quarterback, new defense, I think we could be OK.

Just got to keep getting better. And you know Richt's going to have to do something different. And he can't fire Mike Bobo. That ain't it. You can't go with a new offensive coordinator next year unless you fire him and Richt becomes the offensive coordinator, which might not be a bad idea.

Dan also says to remember the last time we played at a top 5 Auburn team "with a freshman quarterback in the midst of an unbelievably shitty season."

So it can happen.

...

Me: Any scenario that doesn't involved Cam Newton missing that game ...

Joe: I don't have a lot of memory of Auburn games, honestly. Generally speaking, I remember those less than others. Oddly I remember the blackout.

The blackout's a good point. I guess what Dan, and to a lesser extent, I, are saying, is anything happen.

Joe: No. Not against Auburn. Not this year, my man. Unless they can play someone this week who can injure Cam Newton. Unless they play the fucking Steelers. And that's probably against the rules in the NFL anyway now.

Dan makes a couple good points. There are some positive things. But at the same time, I talked to my dad last night, and he's like, "I blame the coaches." Whatever reason, they just suck.

But Dan brings up a good point. You fire Mike Bobo, you bring in a new guy, he's got to run pretty much the same things. Because next year Richt's out of time.

Joe: Right?
Me: Right.

Joe: The bottom line is you were supposed to be good on the o-line, and you're not. I think your strategy is you try to stop Cam Newton from running, and if he throws 7 touchdowns, so be it. Everybody runs for Cam Newton, every time. Isn't that your approach?

Me: It's as good a plan as any.

Dear Washaun, ditch the 3

If I'm Washaun Ealey, there is no way I come out against Vandy wearing the No. 3 jersey.

Remember last year, when Washaun wore No. 24 and didn't run into any parked cars or fumble the ball inside the 5 yard line? Honestly, if my name is "Washaun" and rhymes with "Knowshon" I'm sticking with 24 for my full career at Georgia.

But he didn't. And Ken Malcome's got the 24 jersey now, according to Rivals' Georgia roster. So let me suggest a temporary fix: Someone's going to be wearing the 31 jersey Saturday. Might as well be the guy trying to shake off a jinx.

Update: I'm not the first person to suggest this. Nor am I the first this week.

A.J. snags 4-game suspension for having sex with the cleaning lady

Good grief. From the NCAA:

University of Georgia football student-athlete A.J. Green must miss four games as a condition of becoming eligible to play again, according to a decision today by the NCAA student-athlete reinstatement staff.

The university declared the student-athlete ineligible for violations of NCAA agent benefits rules. According to the facts of the case submitted by Georgia, the student-athlete sold his Independence Bowl game jersey to an individual who meets the NCAA definition of an agent. Green has repaid the $1,000 value of benefits to charity. According to NCAA rules, an agent is any individual who markets or promotes a student-athlete.

The university can appeal, and I hope it will, because I'd rather A.J. Green not miss three SEC games. Certainly the NCAA showed with the Masoli case that they're willing to do an about face when nothing changes except 3 days pass.

And while I have no expectation of consistency from the NCAA, there's a good argument that this suspension is much harsher than the one recently handed down at Alabama. Still, selling your jersey to an agent for $1,000 strikes me as the kind of thing that you should know you're going to get pinched for.

Selling your jersey to anyone for $1,000 seems like the kind of thing you should know you're going to get pinched for.


Costanza-esque: not a descriptor you should aim for.

Instant analysis from the L.I. team:

Dan: He sold a jersey to an agent for $1,000. He's lucky he's playing again. But it ain't a big deal. It's just going to be that much more awesome when Georgia wins the National Championship and A.J. wins the Heisman for 8 games.

Joe: Who's the Moe in our version of The 3 Stooges? There's got to be someone in charge of poking eyes and breaking balls.

Huff: What does AJ Green even need to be meeting with an agent for? Surprise, you're going in the first round. You can make me your agent.

Update: A.J. says he's learned "a valuable lesson" from this. That's not quite saying "Was that wrong ... I gotta plead ignorance on this thing," but it's close.

Washaun runs this state into parked car

From The Banner-Herald:

Georgia running back Washaun Ealey, the Bulldogs’ leading rusher last season, is in the Clarke County Jail this morning after he was arrested on misdemeanor charges of hit-and-run of a parked vehicle and driving on a suspended license.

Well that sounds like a multiple-game suspension, doesn't it?

Dontavius Jackson, he of the recent transfer, would have had to sit six games for his version of the hit and run. Washaun's cases doesn't include any alcohol charges, almost magically, it would seem, since the incident happened after 3 a.m. But if the facts as known now hold up, it's almost a no-brainer that we won't see him on the field in Columbia, and we probably won't see him in September.

Carlton Thomas and Ken Malcome, come on down.

Also, at my last job I had to show proof of a valid driver's license once a year or so. Can we not get some kind of program like that at Butts Mehre?

Because we have really got to stop going down for dumb shit.

Update: Seth Emerson reports that Washaun also has an outstanding warrant for failure to appear on a speeding ticket. So the dumb just gets dumber.

Update: It looks like Washaun may only be suspended for one game, which is surprising, but I'm not complaining.

Quiet into that good night

I certainly hope this is true. By the time most of the world pays attention again Tuesday morning we can be well into what I hope will be a quick, and quiet, replacement search.

Monday update: Done and done. Looks like it's a $237,000 settlement, per Tim Tucker.

Sorry Damon, but we're done here

Best of luck rebuilding, my friend.

Bill King:

"No institution wants a drunken punchline as its public face."

Damon Evans: Massive self whammy

It's not just that Damon Evans has been charged with DUI. It's not just that he was charged with DUI because he was driving erratically and failed a field sobriety test.

It's not just that he was charged with DUI because he was driving erratically and failed a field sobriety test and refused a breathalyzer.

It's not just that he was charged with DUI because he was driving erratically and failed a field sobriety test and refused to take a breathalyzer and had some mysterious passenger with him who was also arrested for unknown reasons.

It's that the mugshot looks like this.

Joe: That's a doozy.

Me: I think Gen. McChrystal's available.

Update: The fact that Director's Cup standings came out this morning doesn't help, either:

Before finishing 18th last year, Georgia had been in the top 15 of the Directors’ Cup standings for 11 consecutive years, including top-10 finishes in eight of the 11 years. This year’s showing is Georgia’s poorest since finishing 28th in 1997.

Update: At the very least, we're going to need a new public service announcement for home games.

Update: This just gets more painful. From Mark Schlabach:

Evans, who played wide receiver at Georgia from 1988-92, received a five-year contract extension in February that raised his annual salary to $550,000. His new salary was set to take effect on Thursday.

Update: Channel 2 identifies the other person arrested as a 28-year-old woman who was charged with disorderly conduct. That's a relief. All day I've been dreading the moment when the phrase "male prostitute" would enter this story.

Of course, this woman is also not Damon's wife (see official bio), so this isn't exactly positive news.

This is the final update on this post. As the world knows, Damon is going to make a statement at 6:30 this evening. If I have anything "worth" adding to that, I'll do it in another post.

Waxman, don't you f this up

Only the United States Congress could turn BP into a sympathetic figure.

If I were wearing eye black today

If I were wearing eye black today, I'd put John 16:13 on it, instead of Tebow's John 16:33.

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

All whammies are still self whammies.

I wonder if I could just get the truth about Georgia tech printed onto eye black. Because everything about this says, Georgia tech is in the ACC Championship:


Hey, loser. Guess who still runs this state.
Image: Tampa Tribune, courtesy David Hale.

Botching that kickoff: What kills you, kills you

If you do something badly, eventually it does you in. Eventually a ref calls a B.S. celebration penalty and exacerbates it. Eventually you lose your freaking mind, kick from the huddle for the first time in the game and get an illegal formation penalty.

Eventually, everything you do wrong goes wrong all at once, because you're dumb. Like a skipping record that scratches.

I think that's the lesson from this piece by David Hale:

By my count, that's 22 miscues on kickoffs following either crucial Georgia scores or to start a half in just the past 18 games. Twenty-two! In 18 games!