A.J. snags 4-game suspension for having sex with the cleaning lady

Good grief. From the NCAA:

University of Georgia football student-athlete A.J. Green must miss four games as a condition of becoming eligible to play again, according to a decision today by the NCAA student-athlete reinstatement staff.

The university declared the student-athlete ineligible for violations of NCAA agent benefits rules. According to the facts of the case submitted by Georgia, the student-athlete sold his Independence Bowl game jersey to an individual who meets the NCAA definition of an agent. Green has repaid the $1,000 value of benefits to charity. According to NCAA rules, an agent is any individual who markets or promotes a student-athlete.

The university can appeal, and I hope it will, because I'd rather A.J. Green not miss three SEC games. Certainly the NCAA showed with the Masoli case that they're willing to do an about face when nothing changes except 3 days pass.

And while I have no expectation of consistency from the NCAA, there's a good argument that this suspension is much harsher than the one recently handed down at Alabama. Still, selling your jersey to an agent for $1,000 strikes me as the kind of thing that you should know you're going to get pinched for.

Selling your jersey to anyone for $1,000 seems like the kind of thing you should know you're going to get pinched for.


Costanza-esque: not a descriptor you should aim for.

Instant analysis from the L.I. team:

Dan: He sold a jersey to an agent for $1,000. He's lucky he's playing again. But it ain't a big deal. It's just going to be that much more awesome when Georgia wins the National Championship and A.J. wins the Heisman for 8 games.

Joe: Who's the Moe in our version of The 3 Stooges? There's got to be someone in charge of poking eyes and breaking balls.

Huff: What does AJ Green even need to be meeting with an agent for? Surprise, you're going in the first round. You can make me your agent.

Update: A.J. says he's learned "a valuable lesson" from this. That's not quite saying "Was that wrong ... I gotta plead ignorance on this thing," but it's close.

Come on, Kentucky

You've probably seen this Touchdown-Jesus-struck-by-lightning story on the interwebs.

Elaine Spencer, our Ohio Valley bureau chief, notes that the statue, visible from Interstate 75, is near Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky.

Cowboys Forever: Seriously, can this be real?

Click on the play button in the top right corner of this page. Seriously? Seriously, can this be real?

"45's, chaps, bandannas and spurs, we are Cowboys ... forever. ... The prairie wind touches our skin, another maverick morning begins."

Huh. And you've heard of Georgia Tech, right?

The Oklahoman says this Okie State song is very real, but will not be used as an introduction Saturday, which is a shame:

"Cowboys Forever” is not the song that will play as the football team takes the field. It’s not the music for the intro video, which in previous years has featured "Back in the Saddle” by Aerosmith. It’s not going to replace whatever pumping, bumping, thumping song brings the Cowboys onto the Boone Pickens Stadium turf.

"There’s a lot of misconception about this song being the song that the football team runs out to,” Martin said. "The team will not come out right when this video and song are done.”

If Georgia ever makes a commercial like this I'll have Tony Cole hunt the writers down and kill them

I thought Florida had the all time most ridiculous gameday commercial. But I guess I was wrong. You can always count on Auburn.


I'm not entirely sure where to start with this. But in what "based on a true story" world is Auburn a top 50 university? Top 50 in what, cow fisting? Deceit? Giving up yardage to Matt Stafford? And Alaska? Really? How did they even find two of you who could fly planes? Just go to hell, Auburn. Go to hell.

Have you ever enslaved a population?

As usual, this kills... and then continues on about 1,000 words too long. At any rate, it's long overdue that Hey Jenny Slater get linked on the blogroll here.

Then we'll give you a rematch...

... though you will have to make it to the 2008 National Title game first.

This is just so damn ridiculous that it's sad. It's a letter from The Honolulu Advertiser's editorial page (you have to scroll down):

SUGAR BOWL: GEORGIA CAME TO PLAY, UH WARRIORS DID NOT

As a former player, I'm tired of hearing fans and the media say that we were overmatched by bigger, faster, stronger players.

Georgia players are no different than us; the problem was they came to play and we didn't.

Georgia was dominant, not only because they were good athletes, but because their scheme put them in the best position to win.

If Hawai'i (offense) had done the same and utilized/adjusted their scheme to put themselves in the best position, we would not be in the mess we are in now. Believe me, our budget and facilities have nothing to do with what goes on on the field. It's up to the players, and I know for a fact they are looking forward to Florida.

Georgia got lucky, and I say that from a player's point of view. We gave up big plays, which at the end killed us.

But it's over; let's all talk about how we are going to support the program. Let's sell out every game from here on out.

Lene Amosa
Honolulu

"Georgia got lucky?" Nice grasp of reality.

By the way, it does look like Amosa is a former Hawaii football player, though the university doesn't exactly celebrate his illustrious career.

Thanks to Dawgs Online for pointing out this moron so we can ridicule him appropriately. And good call on the South Carolina reference.

Good for Arkansas, good for the Falcons, bad for Petrino

What, did Bobby Petrino say to himself: "You know, the Falcons are pretty dysfunctional, but where can I go that's really messed up? And can I get a job there and ruin my credibility in the National Football League at the same time?"

Petrino quits mid-season, heads to Arkansas.

He might want to read up on the Arkansas open records act, or, maybe, never, ever use a university cell phone.

UPDATE: Not to belabor the obvious, but is there any reason I shouldn't just consider Petrino a shameless bag of dirt? He did take a pay cut, so maybe that's one. Still, from The AJC:

Team owner Arthur Blank said Monday he had heard Arkansas was targeting Petrino to replace Houston Nutt as its coach and that the latest rumor about his coach prompted him to ask Petrino that afternoon about his future plans.

Blank said Petrino, who was signed from Louisville to a five-year, $24.5 million contract Jan. 8, told him that he would be back to coach the Falcons in 2008. It was the second time Blank had asked Petrino about his commitment the team over the past few weeks and the second time Petrino told him he would be back next season.

Said a buddy of mine: "This is what rats look like when they're leaving a sinking ship."

Agreed. I'm not a big Falcons fan, but I got nothing for liars.

By the way, time will tell whether this guy is a liar, too, and I owe Kirk Herbstreit an apology.