Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Max Power doesn't abbreviate.

Or, "I got it from the hairdryer" and "What are you looking at, Dicknose?"

Tampa Bay Buccaneers defensive end Greg White has officially changed his name to "Styles G. White" after Stiles from Teen Wolf.

That is awesome. Changing your perfectly good name to something ridiculous is awesome.

Awesome.
Homer: So I want the monogram to read "M-A-X P-O-W ... "
Employee: Sir, traditionally, a monogram is just initials.
Homer: Max Power doesn't abbreviate. Each letter is as important as the one that preceded it. Maybe more important! No, as important.
Employee: Very well.
Homer: And if you've got enough room, add some exclamation points and a pirate flag.
Trent: The man knows what he likes.

Homer: Then I'd like to legally change my name!
Judge: What name would you prefer?
Homer: Any of these will be fine.
Judge: Hmm. "Hercules Rockefeller." "Rembrandt Q. Einstein." "Handsome B. Wonderful." I'm going to give you the only name you spelled correctly. From this day forward, your name shall be...

Lisa: "Max Power"?
Homer: Dynamic, isn't it?
Bart: I love it, Max.
Marge: You changed your name without consulting me?
Homer: That's the way Max Power is, Marge. Decisive. Uncompromising! And rude!
Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to snuggle with "Max Power!"
Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the "G"s!
Marge: Oh, Lord.
Homer: And it doesn't stop in the bedroom. Oh, no. I'm taking charge! Kids, there's three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

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