Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Update your calendars: "Bloodiest war ever" set for Junish

I often wonder whether humankind is as advanced as we think. Or if God's just up there, saying, "Man, I really thought you guys would have figured this out by now."

My buddy Silver* is a "gun show guy." That means he spends his weekends at gun shows, pretty much anywhere within a day's drive, selling people rifle scopes and those little laser pointers that attach to pistols.

This was not his primary career choice. Let's just says he's been a victim of the rapidly un-expanding economy in a particular dying industry.

Now, Silver is a Libertarian. I don't think he has any problem with gun rights. But, not wanting to shoot anything, he doesn't own a gun.

A lot of people think President Barack Obama is going to take away their guns. Or at least make them more expensive. Or maybe give them to Muslim terrorists. I can't really remember what the chain e-mail said.

Some of these fears are obviously unfounded, some of them are probably pretty realistic.

Either way, folks are just buying up guns and over-priced accessories like crazy at these guns hows. You don't have to look hard for news coverage on this. Silver says handguns and assault rifles are particularly popular. When it comes to ammunition, he used the word "stockpiling."

And the people "stockpiling" all this ammunition sound like some real characters.
Silver: I was out having a cigarette and struck up a conversation with this one woman. And she told me, "Well, everything I've read is there's gonna be the bloodiest war ever in June or July."

Me: That's pretty specific.

Silver: Yeah. And I'm just thinking, "What are you reading?"

Silver: This other guy, he was from West Virginia and said he used to work in the coal mines with a bunch of black people. And he said any time black people talk and use their hands, they're lying.

Me: I guess that makes Obama a liar, right?

Silver: I believe that was the sub-text. It's just amazing the panic that's out there.

Me: Just think about this for a minute. All these people that you're meeting — this is America. They have more access to information and education than in just about any place in the world.
As an aside, the way Silver got into this gun show business (which is apparently quite lucrative) is he got laid off. But his boss didn't.

He said that every time he ever had a conversation with her and she meant to use the word "fiscal," she actually said "physical."

* Due to Lucid Idiocy policy of changing some names to one of the school colors, this name has been changed to one of the school colors.


Dan said...

So, what I get from this is that I should sell all my stocks and put it in AK-47's. Sounds good.

Joy said...

Wait...who's Barack Obama again? I've been so busy stock-piling GM shares. It's been a bad physical year so far but there's some great deals out there!

Lucid Idiocy said...

There is no doubt in my mind that would work.

Nick said...

I can't stop laughing!

Anonymous said...

I haven't confirmed it yet, but I believe she survived today's cuts too! Incredible...