Monday, November 14, 2011

Herschel Walker Quiz

Which of these paragraphs about Herschel Walker, from this November Playboy profile, is the most awesome paragraph about Herschel Walker?
a. Said Michael Irvin: “When Herschel was the baddest motor scooter on earth, he’d say, ‘I want to fight Mike Tyson.’ I’d say, ‘Herschel, do you know what that guy does to people? Let’s just beat the Redskins next week.’ But he believed he could beat Tyson. MMA is par for the course for him.”

b. “You can order room service at your house,” says Walker, who a mile into the run speaks with the effortlessness of someone who could do this for hours. Indeed, it is only 7:30 on a summer morning, but he has been up since 5:30, already knocking out 2,000 sit-ups and 500 push-ups and then answering e-mails.

c. Today Walker’s company consists of two divisions, including a recently purchased hospitality unit, and employs 300 people. Corporate offices are in Georgia. From three plants in Arkansas he distributes chicken sliders, chicken wings, chicken breast fajita strips and a host of other food items to clients that include the MGM Grand, Caesars Palace, the Hard Rock Cafe and ­McDonald’s. Last year his sales topped $80 million.

d. If record keepers took into account his combined USFL and NFL yardage — 13,787 — he would be the fifth leading rusher in pro history, ahead of Jim Brown, O.J. Simpson, Eric Dickerson and Ricky Williams.

e. He believes he would have committed murder had he not seen a "smile, Jesus loves you" bumper sticker on the rear of his intended victim’s hauling van.

f. “By eighth grade I’d been beaten up 15 times,” he says. “On the last day of eighth grade I got beat up again. I went home and watched Gilligan’s Island and said, ‘That won’t happen to Herschel again.'
I have to go with f. Also acceptable: Holy shit, watch out for Herschel Walker.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Herschel was (is) unique, that's for sure.

No one made media appearances like Herschel.

He was never cocky, never aloof, never objectionable.

His responses were always humble, joyful, and pleasant. "No Ma'am. I don't get tired running the ball. It isn't heavy."

Herschel's parents did an outstanding job raising their son.

Thirty years later, we all still proclaim "Thank God for Mrs. Walker."