Another dud in Jacksonville

I imagine more than one Georgia beat writer is spending a little time with the Georgia Media Guide this Sunday, finding things to compare this season to.

Bad things.

As a man who cares for nothing pointed out, we had more total yards in the 2015 Florida disaster, starting Faton Bauta at quarterback, than we did yesterday.

Isaiah McKenzie had zero offensive touches. Sonny Michel had four. We had ... 21 fucking rushing yards? Really? Fucking really?

We're looking at 6-6 this year, if you're the generous sort who figures we can manage a split from the Georgia Tech and Kentucky games.

The overly generous sort. If The Dawgs finish 2016 with three more losses and a win over UL Lafayette, it won't be a surprise.

The words "Nicholls State" popped into my head as I typed that last sentence, by the way. Not sure why.

You don't have to go back far to find another season like this one. In 2010 we were 6-7 in a season you may remember for ... actually, let's start with the off-season.

We fired our AD for being a drunken moron, and then, in what would turn out to be some solid metaphoring, running back Washaun Ealey hit-and-ran this state into a parked car and AJ Green was suspended for the sins of being dumb, wanting some of the money his stardom generated and being represented by UGA's compliance staff.

The season is also remembered for AJ's triumphant return during a road trip to Colorado, which was marred by a loss to said Colorado, which would go on that year to a record of 5-7.

The season featured a heart-breaking Florida loss featuring a freshman quarterback, a dirty Nick Fairley trying to kill Aaron Murray in the Auburn game and quite a bit of whiny angst on my part.

Also we lost the Liberty Bowl to George O'Leary's Central Florida team. The score was 6-10.

But we did beat Tech, and two year's later we had not fired Mark Richt and were one not-dropped pass away from maybe beating Alabama and facing Notre Dame's fake girlfriend for a national title.

So it's a topsy turvy world out there.

Go Dawgs?

Another dud in Jacksonville

I imagine more than one Georgia beat writer is spending a little time with the Georgia Media Guide this Sunday, finding things to compare this season to.

Bad things.

As a man who cares for nothing pointed out, we had more total yards in the 2015 Florida disaster, starting Faton Bauta at quarterback, than we did yesterday.

Isaiah McKenzie had zero offensive touches. Sonny Michel had four. We had ... 21 fucking rushing yards? Really? Fucking really?

We're looking at 6-6 this year, if you're the generous sort who figures we can manage a split from the Georgia Tech and Kentucky games.

The overly generous sort. If The Dawgs finish 2016 with three more losses and a win over UL Lafayette, it won't be a surprise.

The words "Nicholls State" popped into my head as I typed that last sentence, by the way. Not sure why.

You don't have to go back far to find another season like this one. In 2010 we were 6-7 in a season you may remember for ... actually, let's start with the off-season.

We fired our AD for being a drunken moron, and then, in what would turn out to be some solid metaphoring, running back Washaun Ealey hit-and-ran this state into a parked car and AJ Green was suspended for the sins of being dumb, wanting some of the money his stardom generated and being represented by UGA's compliance staff.

The season is also remembered for AJ's triumphant return during a road trip to Colorado, which was marred by a loss to said Colorado, which would go on that year to a record of 5-7.

The season featured a heart-breaking Florida loss featuring a freshman quarterback, a dirty Nick Fairley trying to kill Aaron Murray in the Auburn game and quite a bit of whiny angst on my part.

Also we lost the Liberty Bowl to George O'Leary's Central Florida team. The score was 6-10.

But we did beat Tech, and two year's later we had not fired Mark Richt and were one not-dropped pass away from maybe beating Alabama and facing Notre Dame's fake girlfriend for a national title.

So it's a topsy turvy world out there.

Go Dawgs?

In praise of the Cocktail Party

I want to pause a moment this week to say how special, how unique, and how intrinsic to College Football our annual trip to the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party remains.

Living in Virginia, with a wife and two young kids, I've not attended in a number of years. But some of my great memories come from those trips.

Hell, some of them even happened on a Saturday.

This game is one of the things that makes the University of Georgia special on the national stage. It is destination football, perhaps on par with anything and everything else in College Football.

I know some are there already, relaxing on a beach. I'm jealous of everything but the Sunday trip home, should things go as they too often have in recent years the last decade the last 20 years since 1990.

In my youth, my friends and I were usually early arrivers. Georgia-Florida week was, in fact, a week.

More than a decade ago my buddy, The General we called him, was the last caller on Coach Richt's annual Sunday call-in show the week before Florida. This was early in Richt's tenure. Maybe even in his first year, because I remember Munson explaining to Richt just what-all the Cocktail Party entailed.

We had played Kentucky or someone the day before.

"Just wanted to let you know, we're packing up the car and heading down tonight," The General said, as the end-of-show music played.

"My God," Munson replied. "You'll be dead by Thursday."

What's the matter, Georgia? Can't handle a little pressure?

The headline comes from my wife, who, in line with our style of analysis here, did not watch yesterday's game.

I remain tranquil in the wake of losing to, for goodness sake, Vanderbilt. Because we are on a path. We're locked in. There's no doubt or looming decision festering in my gut like after a bad loss in recent years.

This is either going to work or it's not. Within three years.

Joe, and 99 percent of sensible Bulldog fandom, did not like our key 4th down play call yesterday. I'll list the reasons:

1. It didn't work.
2. Nick Chubb.
3. I mean, you can't go in motion like that twice in a row. C'mon, y'all.
4. Sony Michel.

Our special teams play was a comedy of ironies and poor decisions. On the biggest plays, Vanderbilt's defense looked like it was just swarming past our blockers. Watching Arkansas/Ole Miss after our game made me ache for a night game in Sanford Stadium with a team that looks like it knows what it's doing and doesn't fuck around about it.

Any way, whatever. We have a plan. This plan appears to be going poorly. I say let's beat Auburn and Florida this year, and of course Georgia Tech.

These are my only 2016 goals for the program. I hope they're somehow, perhaps magically, within reach, and that they won't be subverted for longer-term goals.

UGA fans should pay UGA prices for returned tickets

As the Banner Herald notes, Georgia Tech has returned about 2,000 tickets for its visit next month to Sanford Stadium.

You can buy one for $95, the price we charge Tech fans, a price based largely on the price they charge us for games in Atlanta.

Returned tickets should be available to UGA fans at the normal home ticket price of $45, not the price we charge other fan bases.

I feel certain we can handle the $100,000 loss. I feel certain we can make relatively sure, at least to the extent we do for regularly priced tickets now, that only UGA people get these tickets.

It is not right to charge Georgia fans away team prices, and particularly not for garbage seats in the Tech Deck.

Hat tip: The Senator.

LSU v. FLA: Play it or you both forfeit

That's what Commissioner Lucid would say.

You two figure it out, or you both get losses and the rest of us move on. Then you can consider not upsetting me again with your inability to compromise.

And, no, I did not read the SEC bylaws on this. I mean, I skimmed them, but who has that sort of time?

I know this: Ain't no way a Florida team that doesn't play its full SEC schedule this year can be in the running in the SEC East.

The rehabilitation of Isaiah Crowell

When erstwhile Georgia star Isaiah Crowell sent a cartoon depiction of a police officer being murdered out into the internet, that could have been it for the troubled young running back.

His talent, no doubt, saved him again. That his talent is relative to the rest of the Cleveland Browns organization helped immensely.

But at the end of the day the broader lessen is this: There are no knuckleheads beyond redemption:

"I said, 'Isaiah, why did you send me a check? I told you you didn't have to send me a check,''' Pennie said. "He said, 'Sarge, I want to do it. I really want to do it.' I said, 'okay, alright, you will now be an executive level sponsor. So now, you are a celebrity sponsor of the Dallas Fallen Officer Foundation.'' 

Crowell, asked by cleveland.com about the donation this week in the Browns locker room, was reluctant to discuss it. He never wanted publicity for it in the first place.

Crowell is currently the NFL's second-leading rusher, by the way.

Lucid Idiocy drinks to 2016!

If you need cocktail ideas today, Lucid Idiocy has you covered. Drink up.

The Silver Red and Black

Shot of Johnny Walker Red, shot of Johnny Walker Black, Diet Sprite. Losing badly in the 4th quarter? Substitute Mercury for the Sprite.

The Banana Lambert
My siblings and I actually created this one at the start of the 2015 season, based on the oldest bottle in my parents' liquor cabinet. It's a shot of banana liqueur and a shot of bourbon with ginger beer, garnished with mint. It's not as bad as you think (yes it is).

The Jacob's Ladder
Shot of peppermint schnapps, shot of Boone's Farm, shot of whiskey, hand the ball to Nick Chubb.

The Nick Chubb
Get a rocks glass. Fill it with rocks. Enjoy.

The McKenzie
Three sips of an $80 Scotch, enjoyed by a fire with a mellow cigar. Then drop and shatter the rest of the bottle.

The Lorenzo
Tequila in a shot class garnished with pulled teeth. Yeah, I don't know why either.

The Eason
Get some champagne. Add jolly ranchers. Give it to the other team.

The Blazevich
Shot of beer. Shot of Amaretto. Top with 151. Light on fire and set aside without drinking.

The Kirby
A vodka fishbowl martini served daily at 3:30 from a bottle of Grey Goose that has been emptied out behind your back, then refilled with either more Grey Goose, Absolute or Mr. Boston's.

The McGarity
Beverage of your choice, served in a glass too big for you to finish.

The Placekicker
Prepare two separate glasses of malt liquor. Set aside on an tray table while you enjoy three to five Easons. Approach tray table and trip face first into both glasses. Cut yourself severely.

The Sack
Beverage does not exist.

The Line
Drink of your choice served in a colander.

The Beat UNC
I actually don't know what's in this one, which is a shame because it was pretty good. I know it's built on a Nick Chubb, but for the life of me I can't remember what else was in it.

The 2016
Make an Eason. Put all your eggs in it.

The Richt
Vodka shots. Like revenge, best served cold.