Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Dear Coach T. ...

My name is John Fain and I am 3 weeks old today. I know you're a busy man, particularly with your new-and-improved mat drills and several important hires to make - so I'll get straight to the point.

When is the proper time for Daddy to start me on a self-improvement regimen of kettle bells and punches to the face? Five weeks? Six?

I don't want to wait too long and turn into a whiny little punk.

Yours in future Dawgliness,



CCRider said...

Not to speak for Coach T but I believe that the male child should have been punched in the face the moment he exited the birth canal. When my son was born my wife was all like "you can't punch a baby in the face!" and I was all like "shut up woman you know nothing of being a man."
Also, she wouldn't let me name him Evil but then again she is one of these people who "would be happy even if he doesn't play football."

Mr. Sanchez just had one as well.....maybe they will be in the same recruiting class?

Lucid Idiocy said...

Agreed. I tried to punch him through the womb, but my wife kept complaining. Women.

Tyler Dawgden said...

You should have him doing squats by now. My wife had ours doing form tackling by three months and quickness skills (by stapling a steak to the cat) at a year. He and the cat do bear in the cage drills twice a week.

Sounds like y'all didn't marry well enough.

Tyler Dawgden said...

Congrats, by the way.