My name is John Fain and I am 3 weeks old today. I know you're a busy man, particularly with your new-and-improved mat drills and several important hires to make - so I'll get straight to the point.
When is the proper time for Daddy to start me on a self-improvement regimen of kettle bells and punches to the face? Five weeks? Six?
I don't want to wait too long and turn into a whiny little punk.
Yours in future Dawgliness,