20 hours later and Meyer's taking a leave of absence? C'mon!

Urban Meyer, you son of a bitch, I don't know what you and your eroding black heart are up to, but I do know the phrase "lying weasel" is more appropriate than ever.

Meyer tells teams he'll take a leave of absence, not retire.

ESPN: Urban Meyer is leaving Florida

ESPN's announcing team for the Meineke Car Care Bowl just said that Florida AD Jeremy Foley has confirmed that Urban Meyer is stepping down.

"So, you did see that. That wasn't just on my television?"
- Joe

Update: It appears to be for health reasons. The University of Florida Athletic Department site won't load for me, probably due to traffic, but The Houston Chronicle of all places reports:

Urban Meyer is stepping down as Florida's football coach, the school announced on its athletics Web site Saturday.

“I have given my heart and soul to coaching college football and mentoring young men for the last 24-plus years and I have dedicated most of my waking moments the last five years to the Gator football program,” Meyer said in a statement. “I have ignored my health for years, but recent developments have forced me to re-evaluate my priorities of faith and family.”

I don't know what to think. But if Meyer pulls a Billy Donovan, I'll kill him.

Vic Chesnutt, dead on Christmas day

From The Flagpole:

Vic Chesnutt died in Athens Georgia this afternoon, Friday 25 December at 14:59.

From The New York Daily News in 2005:

"Every aspect of human nature needs to be written about," Chesnutt says. "Writers are like Geiger counters, or seismic meters. They show you the things you should pay attention to that go on underneath."

From The Village Voice in 2008:

Vic, tell me something you’ve never ever done before in your life.

Well, I’ve never gone back in time.

Reports: Vic Chesnutt in a coma

Numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, are reporting that Athens singer / songwriter Vic Chesnutt is in a coma.

Some of the reports reference rumors of suicide, and you don't have to listen much of Chesnutt's music to know he is as troubled as he is brilliant.

Update: The Flagpole doesn't have much more information, but promises updates as they are available.

Support Georgia Tech, win a picnic for two!

Georgia Tech: You don't even have to make a joke.

Because they advertise:

The successful 2009 football season has proven to be costly for the finances of the Ramblin' Reck. ... the Reck must be in Miami for our first Orange Bowl appearance since 1967 and our first BCS bowl game ever. We need your financial support to help get it there. ...

The cost to rent a truck for the Orange Bowl is $1,000 plus gas, an amount that will take a significant chunk out of the Reck's finances. We are asking you to help get the Ramblin' Reck, our mascot, to Miami and to the Orange Bowl. It has been years since the car has made trips of great distance to fulfill its duty of leading the team onto the field, and the account has not been properly prepared for such a venture.

We are asking for your donations, every little bit will help alleviate the burden of transporting the Ramblin' Reck. You may wonder what you will get for your donation. For every $25 you give to the Ramblin' Reck, you will have your name entered in a drawing to have a day with the Ramblin' Reck. Your prize will include a private tour for two around campus and a provided picnic on one of Georgia Tech's lawns. I have discussed this with the 2010 Rambln' Reck Driver, and he assures me that he will work closely with the winner to make this a memorable afternoon on campus!

I want to thank you losers for throwing the picnic in on top of everything else that's pathetic about this situation.

48th Brigade in Afghanistan

The Telegraph's Tom Day files the first of many reports from Afghanistan, where he is currently with the Georgia National Guard:

KABUL — As the Army goes, so goes the 48th Brigade.

When the unit returned home from Iraq in the summer of 2006, it was given an order: Turn in your tanks and become a light infantry unit. Three years later, the transition of the 48th Brigade of the Georgia National Guard is complete.

Tom is an Army vet, a published author, The Telegraph's military affairs reporter on assignment in Afghanistan and a Penn State fan.

I do not know whether he is aware that LSU is going to kick the crap out of them.

Update: Tom says he did know that Penn State would defeat LSU.

Ha ha ha! Pathetic.

Georgia Tech has one guy on its football team who's ever won a bowl game, and he won it with Louisville.

Losers.

Ninja baby gets drunk, wears dress, steals presents

This story is datelined Chattanooga:

The child, Hayden Wright, was found around 1:45 am Tuesday, wandering the streets of his neighborhood. In a police reports, officers said he was wearing a little girl's dress and drinking a beer. The police report says the child had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for alcohol consumption. ...

(His mother April) Wright says she woke up that night at 1:45 am and panicked when she found Hayden was gone. She says she put safety devices on all the doors so her kids couldn't get out, but Hayden was able to break the safety device off the doorknob and get outside.

Once out, Wright says her four year old followed his father's footsteps and was found on Blue Spruce Road, drinking.

"He runs away trying to find his father," she said. "He wants to get in trouble so he can go to jail because that's where his daddy is."

There's video on the link, with an in-house interview of the mother.

"It may be one of the strangest stories we've ever reported to you," the anchor says.

May? It starts like a wild joke, and ends up punching you in the stomach.

Smart, the former running backs coach, ...

I'd really like it if all media reports about Kirby Smart potentially becoming the next defensive coordinator for the Georgia Bulldogs would refer to him as "Former Georgia Running Backs Coach Kirby Smart," as opposed to noting that he's Alabama's current defensive coordinator.

Former running backs coach. I had forgotten that even happened, until I read this. He was running backs coach for 1 year after something went down with our running backs coach. I can't remember, and can't find my 2004 media guide.

I honestly got nothing

That's actually a lie.

The 18 minutes I thought we might hire Bud Foster were some of my happiest in the last six months.
---
I don't think I've ever mentioned this before but "lucid idiocy" is basically a better second draft to the phrase "stupid philosophy," which I always thought would make a clever small book title.

All words and titles patent pending, copyright 1976:

Let's say you find a monkey's paw, or a remote control with crazy powers, or some sort of box that grants wishes. Now, all lore, parables, movies, etc., point to this being too good to be true. Cursed, if you will.

And yet ...
.
In the Bible, does it just say "thou shalt have no other gods before Me," or does it say, "There are no other gods?"
.
We put an announcement in the paper: The million dollar party has been renamed the more than a million dollar party. All other plans remain as advertised.
.
Jesus: Look, the important thing is to treat people the way you would want to be treated.

Peter: Ah, an eye for an eye.

---
The column makes a good point: "If voters had to choose right now between instituting a draft or exiting Afghanistan and Iraq, the troops would be out of those two countries in a heartbeat."

Finally, I can blame the media

For the Oklahoma State loss, at least. From David Hale:

A few weeks ago, I was sitting around chatting with a few other reporters about the stories we all wrote over the summer. My honest assessment was that, looking back, I was embarrassed by some of what I wrote. I glossed over too many obvious problems -- or at least problems that would have been obvious if I had dug a bit deeper -- and I was too quick to give coaches and players the benefit of the doubt.

2008 Hoop Dawgs

God bless memory road, and great newspapers.














The Georgia senior guard Sundiata Gaines was the last Bulldog player off the floor. He hung his head low, but had nothing to be ashamed of. He vacuumed up every loose ball, led with a veteran’s aplomb and epitomized the fight this Georgia team had shown for the last week.

Strong to Louisville: saving grace, or death?

From the AP in Louisville, Ky:

A person with knowledge of the decision says Louisville is expected to hire Florida associate coach Charlie Strong as its new football coach.

Joe: Does Florida promote from within? Please say yes.

North Bibb County, Macon, Georgia

I had to double back to take this picture, and initially thought the sign said something slightly different, which I think more illuminating: "When all else fails in life, consult the instruction book."

I can also report this, from Steve Martin's autobiography:

"Through the years I've learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration."

Brought to you by Ndamukong Suh for Heisman

He is the bubonic plague of defense. You can run, you can hide, but he will fucking destroy you. He will ravage your society. Do you think there's any way he could coach our defense?
- Joe Petersen

Season, career statistics. And Mr. Suh will get at least one real first place vote for the Heisman.

If the idea of this weekend was that big name who had the best game would win the Heisman trophy, this blog votes for Ndamukong Suh, with C.J. Spiller in second place.

Another reason I'm glad I'm not Cincinnati

Cincinnati versus Florida in the Sugar Bowl. Outstanding.

By the way, a vitamin company is sponsoring the bowl game in Shreveport, so be sure to stock up.

And Fox BCS Guru Jimmy Johnson predicts Alabama will win the title, saying it as if only a moron would think otherwise.

If I were wearing eye black today

If I were wearing eye black today, I'd put John 16:13 on it, instead of Tebow's John 16:33.

But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.

All whammies are still self whammies.

I wonder if I could just get the truth about Georgia tech printed onto eye black. Because everything about this says, Georgia tech is in the ACC Championship:


Hey, loser. Guess who still runs this state.
Image: Tampa Tribune, courtesy David Hale.

Dooley: Tebow in a class by himself

Ugh. From a front page story in USA Today:

Vince Dooley has seen Tebow pile up nine passing and rushing touchdowns in two lopsided wins in the last two years against Georgia, a rival SEC program that Dooley once coached for 25 Hall of Fame seasons. "Football. Athleticism. Leadership. Charity work. His faith. You name it. I've never seen anybody who had all that in one package," he says.

"That's what puts him in a class by himself."

Steele Curran Defense: this phrase now patented

This blog does not wait for bodies to chill.

Initial, knee-jerk, largely unresearched opinion centers on Kevin Steele, whom Joe notes has only been at Clemson for a year. He was Nick Saban's 2008 associate head coach, defense.

At Florida State Coach Steele was the linebackers coach during Ernie Simms, Buster Davis, Michael Boulware and A.J. Nicholson's tenures. A former Rivals national recruiter of the year, he is a native of Dillon, S.C., and played for Johnny Majors in 1978 and 1979.

Image: Clemson "University." Thanks, losers.

Bowl reports, both sourced and non

From The Tennessean:

Tennessee will play Virginia Tech on New Year’s Eve in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl in Atlanta, and Kentucky is headed back to the Dec. 27 Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl for the third time in four years, according to sources close to both bowls.

Not so fast, The AJC's Tim Tucker says:

Not so fast, Chick-fil-A Bowl president Gary Stokan said Tuesday night.

Stokan said Georgia "most definitely" remains under consideration for the Dec. 31 game in Atlanta and added "we haven't made that decision" on which teams to invite.