Friday, October 31, 2008

Pulpwood: We gonna hit Tebow so hard we gonna knock the gel out of his hair

It's two clicks and there's TONS of rough language, but this is the best Pulpwood Smith preview yet.

Admit it, you've always wanted to call Mike Adams that, haven't you?

And did you know Pulpwood led the team in rushing in 1984? I looked it up in the media guide.

UPDATE: I had the wrong link. It's fixed now. Enjoy.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Don't worry, I'm having as many whiskey drinks as Tebow's jersey number

From today's St. Augustine Record:
GAINESVILLE -- There's a rumor going around that Florida defenders had to do 188 push-ups a day during offseason conditioning workouts, one for every yard Georgia running back Knowshon Moreno gained against the Gators last season.

"No comment," linebacker Brandon Spikes said when asked about the routine.
Joe: If that's true, Urban Meyer replaces me as the smartest man alive.

Basic information

Saturday's weather report: Scattered showers.

Stadium seating chart, via the Jacksonville Bulldog Club.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Florida: Trying to read from an upside-down script

There was some guy yelling at us near the beach on Sunday. And I really don't know what he said. Because a sentence into it, all I could think was, "I really don't care what this guy is saying."

Florida: We still don't care what you think. We're still glad it pissed you off. We're glad we're in your head. Go suck it.

Still Grant Blankenship. From The Telegraph.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Florida, when you get here, I got whole case of hate

My buddy Todd lives down here in Florida. And he says all the Gator fans can talk about is Georgia. How they've always hated us, but this year they HATE us.

Please, Florida fan. Unless you're calling on a time phone from 1983, don't tell me about a case of the wants its.

The Senator's got a good breakdown of the SEC with less than half the season to go:
Florida (4-1 SEC; 6-1 overall). First in the conference in scoring offense. First in the conference in scoring defense. Dynamic special teams. But for some unfortunate turnovers against Ole Miss, the Gators would probably be the #1 team in the nation right now. The only caveat about the Gators is that they really haven’t been tested defensively so far. They’ve faced the #s 34, 48, 77, 82, 88, 100 and 105 nationally ranked schools in rushing offense. And they’ve only played one team to date which returned a starting quarterback from the season before - Arkansas’ Casey Dick. That’s not to say they’re not a good defensive team, but it’s something we’ll know a lot more about after this week.

Georgia (4-1 SEC; 7-1 overall). Given the injuries, Mark Richt is doing as good a coaching job this year as he did in 2003. Similarly to that year, he’s riding three players to carry the team, although this time they’re on offense. If the Dawgs can survive Jacksonville, the rest of the schedule is doable - having that extra week to prepare for Georgia Tech’s offense is a big help.
On point as always. And that Casey Dick thing is interesting.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Blurbs from the local rag

From The Advocate in Baton Rouge:

"Goodness gracious," Richt said Saturday evening, the first words of his postgame news conference. "What a great ball game. I'm thrilled for everybody who took this long trip."

Brian Mimbs averaged 50.4 yards a punt.

LSU is now 21-24-3 in day games in Tiger Stadium since 1960.

Mike the Tiger, LSU's live mascot, did not make his traditional visit to Tiger Stadium. ... Mike's handlers couldn't coax him out of his habitat and into his traveling cage.

Photo No. 31.

And, since it's time to move on, this is from The Advocate's story about the Florida game: Coach Urban Meyer issued his players a gag order concerning the Bulldogs.

Not that we're in their heads or anything...

Tiger Stadium: Now downtrodden

By the way, this is that stadium we're all supposed to be scared by:

And this is what it looks like with 10 minutes left in the 4th quarter, when half the LSU superfans give up and leave:

That yellow? Seats. Click on image to enlarge.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Dispatches from the road: Bait is made for Killing

I don't know about you, but I think I'll drive from Baton Rouge to the beach today with a smile on my face. Here's what I got so far:

Stay classy, Alabama gas station:

With the exception of some forgettable defense in the 4th, we saw the "killer instinct," Richt "keeping his foot on their throat" or whatever other "finish the drill" metaphor you like against LSU.
Knowshon's riding the short bus. Because he's special.
A guy sitting next to my buddy said 1998 LSU is the only time he's ever feared for his safety at a public event. But I didn't see that at all. The vast majority of LSU fans I came in contact with were all class.
That said, that whole tiger bait thing is ridiculous. I should have t-shirts made that say "Tiger Bait" with an arrow pointing to my face.
Also, this guy told me he would "salt the Earth" when LSU comes to Athens next year. I'm pretty sure he also threatened to kill Athens area cattle, and I know he promised to rape women during his visit, "like the Romans used to do." He also screamed, for anyone to hear, that he was superintendent of schools for an area school system.

Hello, school board? I think you've got some firing to do.
Welcome back to the Heisman race, Mr. Moreno. And then there's this: Moreno's touchdown in the third quarter gave him 26 for his career -- tying Thomas Brown for the most by any player since Richt's arrival in 2001.
Darryl Gamble for Heisman.
Gamble for Nobel Prize for Defense.
It was nice to see Kenneth Harris snag a touchdown.
Hi, I'm Mike Bobo. My balls are huge. I throw freshmen tight ends the first pass of their career when I'm backed up near my own endzone and the game just needs to be salted away.
You think when Bobo calls the tunnel screen he imagines himself throwing it to Champ Bailey... sixteen times in a row?
"Salt the earth" guy was my second favorite LSU fan. This guy was No. 1. Note that it says "LSU" on his boots:
31 had been the most a Georgia team had scored in Baton Rouge. The 52 we scored Saturday was one more than Florida put on them.
Florida put up 63 on Kentucky. Also known as "tomorrow's problem."
Note to LSU band: Don't play "Livin' on a Prayer" when you're down 14 in the 4th.
The stadium got pretty loud there with about 8 minutes to go in the 4th quarter. Just think if half the people hadn't left at the 10 minute mark.
Penn State: No turnovers, no penalties in their 10-6 win over Ohio State.
I'm told Navy did not attempt a pass during their game.
Saturday was like national offense day in College Football. Just perusing some of the scores people put up. Florida 63. Oklahoma 58. Our 52. Texas Tech 63. TCU 54. Missouri 58. Rutgers 54.

Way to go Dawgs.

I'm just damn proud to cheer for you.

Tiger bait:

Steel-toothed Tiger trap:

Bill Haber, AP, via The Telegraph.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Panic to webcast Halloween show

From the band:
For those of you that won’t be joining us in New Orleans, you can catch the October 31st show LIVE in its entirety, on the and sites.
Make a note of it.

2,700 pounds of upperclassman mean

"I think this is the best offensive line I have seen in 26 years of doing this. It is also one of the best defensive fronts we've had, although neither looked very good against Florida"

- Jim Hawthorne, LSU play-by-play man, in the current issue of Bulldawg Illustrated (subscription).

Georgia linemen, I do believe this season is in your hands.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Joe and Travis Tuesday conversation: Debbie downer LSU edition

Editor's note: Did not occur on a Tuesday.
ME: So, I don't know. What do you think... (sigh) What do you think about this LSU game?

JOE: We're gonna win.

ME: I don't know.

JOE: What makes you think that? the fact that Mark Richt is like 25-2 in opponent's stadiums?

ME: Yeah, but where did 50 percent of those losses come?

JOE: Yeah, I guess. (pause) That was Nick Saban's fault.

JOE: Put it like this : We're not going to lose both those $%#$!*@ games. So which one do you think we'll win?

ME: I don't know. The season could be over in a week and a half.

JOE: Are the odds that we lose both of these games, or win both of these games or win one of these games?

ME: That sounds like a math question. Why don't you just go back to tech?

JOE: Maybe I should do that. Go get an engineering degree and make a bunch of money and then set the place on fire. I could just engineer them right out of Atlanta.

ME: Finally something quotable.

JOE: We're just due to put it all together.

ME: I don't know. It seems like if we were going to put it all together, we'd have done it by now. Although, we did put it all together last year against Florida.

JOE: The odds are in our favor.

ME: We might have used up all of our odds last year.

JOE: The bottom line is they got two quarterbacks that would be third on our depth chart at best. ... So would John Parker Wilson. Oops.
For the record, though I told him to "get back to tech," Joe never went to tech. That would not have gone well for anyone involved.

I also took out the part where I asked where our offensive and defensive linemen would fall on LSU's depth chart. The ones that get to play. Not the injured and/or suspended ones.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Bailey brothers injured in the NFL

I didn't even know Boss moved to the Denver Broncos, but he and Champ both left Denver's game last night with injuries.

Georgia v. LSU: All I know is worry.

Looks like we're 2.5 point dogs this weekend in Baton Rouge. But Sen. Blutarsky says we've actually got the edge in some pretty key statistical areas, compiled against a tougher schedule.

Senator, I demand to know why you insist on giving me hope.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Ellerbe, Durham and Kade Weston

I was just talking to Joe. Is he right that we get Big Kade Weston, Ellerbe and Kris Durham back this week?

Brandon Wood's arrest would make me wince a lot less if that's right.

UPDATE: It looks like the answer may be yes.

SEC: No penalty for tackling referee

Joe Person at The State, who used to work here at The Telegraph, got the word from the main office:
Just spoke with Charles Bloom in the SEC office. Bloom said SEC officials coordinator Rogers Redding has reviewed the tape of the Garcia play and the conference plans to take no action against Hackett. The conference believes Hackett was protecting himself on the play.
Some other good information on Joe's blog, so do the link.

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about:

Really? C'mon!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Math at Wal-Mart

A reader sent us this.

Wal-Mart: Because Auburn grads need jobs too.

Knowshon watch

Knowshon Moreno broke the 2,000 yards rushing mark Saturday with a relatively quiet (meaning he only hurdled one guy, and that guy wasn't standing up) 172 yards.

He's got 2,096 for his career now, putting him 9th in school history. He's ahead of Tim Worley (2,038) and behind Willie McClendon (2,228).

He has appeared in 20 games, giving him an average of 105 yards rushing per game.

If you use just this season, taking out last year when he split time with Thomas Brown (2,573, No. 6 all-time), Knowshon's average rises to 109 yards a game.

If you assume he stays for his junior year, doesn't get injured, keeps the 105 ypg average, and the Dawgs go to two more bowl games and 1 SEC title game, that projects to 4,196 yards for his career. That would be good for No. 2 on the list by a long shot.

Garrison Hearst has 3,232 and The Goal Line Stalker had 5,259.

I saw an old Garrison Hearst game on T.V. the other day. It reminded me: That guy was the man. But No. 2 on the list with a 1,000 yard advantage... that would pretty much end the argument about where Knowshon belongs in the rankings of great Georgia running backs.

He would also be above Garrison's career average of 97.9 yards a game. Herschel averaged 159.4. That is simply inhuman.

Vandy weekend thoughts

Dear Georgia Bulldogs: I don't think you can beat LSU or Florida. Please prove me wrong.

I think Vance Cuff's going to get his shot at starting cornerback next week. And don't think he'll be dropping any more balls that hit him in the chest.

Alright, alright. Alabama is legit.

Our safeties are not the stalking assassins I need them to be.

Florida's gonna kill that toss sweep.

Stafford's line: 13 of 23 for 194 yards, 2 TDs and 2 interceptions.

Colt McCoy's: 29 of 32 for 337 yards, 2 TDs and no interceptions.

Penn State's starting quarterback completed 18 passes for 171 yards and one touchdown. They won 46-17.

Due to my poor decision making skills, I spent a long time downtown after the game. Every time I went outside, I could hear the Bell ringing. It rang into the morning. The students these days have my respect.

Of course, I've heard enough bell ringing over the years that I can kind of conjure it up in my head.

UPDATE: C'mon! Really? C'mon!

Church sign wisdom

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ben Watson is a bad ...

He just crushes Champ Bailey like an awesome hustling truck.

"Damn. I ain't never seen that before."

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Lack of turnovers? It's the pass rush. And other unqualified claims.

That's my dumb opinion. From David Hale here at the paper:
A year ago at this point in the season, Georgia's interception total wasn't any better than it is now. In fact, while the Bulldogs finished with an impressive tally, they had just two interceptions in their first eight games of the season. Then the light clicked on, the defensive backs began cashing in on their opportunities, and in the final five games of the year, Georgia picked off 13 passes.
That paragraph is actually down at the bottom, but I kept waiting for it. We've been waiting for things to click this year, and I got the sense they started to (on offense) during that last drive of the Tennessee game.

That has nothing to do with a pass rush, obviously.

But to see it all come together just a little earlier in the season this year, and to have it happen without one big moment, one big celebration, if you will, would make sense.

But we'll see.

Did you know that disco record sales were up 400% for the year ending 1976? If these trends continue... AAY!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Ranking college football teams

If you haven't checked it out yet, go look at Sen. Blutarsky's college football poll. It's handled differently - with voters choosing the top 5 teams, with no distinction between 1 and 5, and then the next 7, again with no distinction.

It takes away some of the ridiculous parsing between who's the No. 4 and No. 5 team, and he also waited until 6 weeks into the season to have a poll.

In fact, the only real criticisms I have of what seems to be a really strong system is that, one, he let me vote in it and, b., I don't like the name.

The Mumme Poll.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Vandy to start Adams on Saturday

Mr. Hale notes it at the bottom of his notebook: Vanderbilt announced Monday that quarterback Mackenzi Adams will start Saturday's game over Chris Nickson, who had started the team's first six games.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Quarterback play these days

Due to fact that I'm not really a College Football fan, but a Georgia fan, what I don't know could fill a warehouse. But does it seem like there is just a ton of fantastic quarterback play out there this year, or is it just something with the Big 12?

More informed people should discuss this.

Todd Reesing (Kansas), Tim Tebow (Milky Way Solar System), Zac Robinson (Okie State), Chase Daniel (Mizzou), Colt McCoy (Texas), Matt Stafford (Athens), Sam Bradford (Oklahoma), Graham Harrell (Texas Tech), Matt Sanchez (USC), Matt Sanchez's backup (I mean, presumably), David Johnson (Tulsa, No. 1 passer rating in the nation), Max Hall (BYU), Kellen Moore, Nate Davis and Josh Freeman (OK, now I'm just going off the stats), Daryll Clark (Penn State).

That doesn't even include Juice Williams at Illinois, former Heisman candidate turned "Who?" Pat White at West Virginia, pretty-damn-decent Matt Grothe at South Florida or the shockingly perhaps not ridiculously over-rated Jimmy Clausen at Notre Dame.

UPDATE: Begrudgingly, John Parker Wilson at Alabama. Then there's my personal favorite among injured PAC 10 quarterbacks who got screwed by over-zealous rule making, Jake Locker, Cullen "Big things used to be expected of me" Harper of Clemson, Rudy "Me, too, Cullen" Carpeneter at ASU, that supposed talent at Central Michigan and, holy hell, did you know The Pillsbury Throwboy's little brother started for UCONN before he got injured. By the way, UCONN's top athletic story right now is a TIE in WOMEN's HOCKEY.)

Palmer: "I think Georgia, big time under-rated right now."

Proving that Florida people aren't ridiculous 24/7 (well, excluding the hair), former contributor to the undeserving bane of our existence and current until-now-inexplicable part of ESPN's college football coverage Jesse Palmer notes that, despite what the polls say, Georgia could beat BYU and Texas Tech.

Don't have a link for you, I'm watching College Football Live on ESPN.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Beating Tennessee - way better than losing to Arkansas

I'm just saying.

Great game by Massaquoi, which is great to see. Anytime you give up 1 rushing yard, that's alright, baby. For a supposed-to-be-flat crowd, and all the tickets on the street, the stadium was crowded. I actually sat near my seats today. Being near the title flags in a breeze... that's something beautiful.

And is it just me, or did we learn how to block there in the 4th quarter?

Beat Vandy.
Florida is whipping up on LSU. But did I miss something? Has anyone associated with the University of Florida ever founded a fortune 500 country, written anything approaching a great American novel, cured cancer, visited Mars or achieved anything of note outside of the mullet and gold chain?

You're a joke you've never even noticed.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Tennessee game has no feel

I don't think there's any doubt the fans come out flat on Saturday.

And I know the phrase on my lips will be simple: Show me something.

Show me something, Bulldogs. We deserve it, you deserve it, Georgia deserves it.


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Today's Lucid Idiocy

I'm reading Slash's autobiography right now. And this story about Axl Rose, from back before Guns n' Roses hit it big, is fantastic.

Apparently Axl was staying with Slash, who lived with his mother and grandmother. And the grandmother comes into the living room to watch T.V., but Axl is sleeping on the couch. She asks him to get up and sleep in Slash's room, and he does, but he also tells her to "---- off."

So later on Slash is driving them both to band practice, and he asks Axl to apologize to his grandmother. Writes Slash:
Axl stared out the window as I spoke, then he started rocking back and forth in the passenger seat. We were driving down Santa Monica Boulevard, doing about forty miles an hour, when suddenly, he opened the car door and jumped out without a word. He stumbled, kind of hopped, and made it onto the sidewalk without falling. he steadied himself, then took off down a side street without looking back.

I was shocked; I did a U-turn and drove around in vain, looking for him for an hour. He didn't show up back at my hosue that night and he didn't come to rehearsal for four days. On the fifth day he appeared at the studio as if nothing had happened.
I'm pretty sure it gets way more ridiculous from there. I recommend it.

In unrelated news, I have no idea where this little magazine came from, but it showed up in the office today:

Wonder what the next issue will be about.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Herschel in NYC, selling cupcakes

There's something that's just so right about calling the NYC chapter of the Georgia Alumni Association to get pictures of The Goal Line Stalker selling cupcakes on 46th Street, and having them arrive within the hour.

Many thanks to Association President Sara Simmons and NYC Bulldog Kerri Waggoner. All images provided by Ms. Waggoner. And thanks to Georgia Sports Blog for the heads up.

That's 100 kinds of awesome. Note the reflection of "Broadway" in the bus window.

The cupcakes in question. Unconfirmed reports have them "slightly overcooked, but worth it for charity (and Herschel)."

Ivanka Trump: Clearly in love. And possibly thinking "Georgia really could have used you at linebacker against Alabama."

The not-so-great pumpkin

Seen at last year's Cocktail Party.

Monday, October 6, 2008

“I’ve been giving away gator meat left and right"

I know it's Tennessee week. And we've got a ways to go before the first week in November. But, Florida, I haven't forgotten you.

Record alligator taken from the Flint River.

Image: The Cordele Dispatch.

The Georgia Department of Natural Resources' rules for alligator hunting are pretty interesting. From The Dispatch:
Regulations allow hunters to take only one alligator a season, and the reptiles must be at least 48 inches long and can be hunted only with hand-held ropes or snares, snatch hooks, harpoons, gigs or arrows with a restraining line attached. Legal alligators must be dispatched immediately upon capture by using a handgun or bangstick, or by severing the spinal cord with a sharp implement, according to information provided by the DNR.
As Joe and I were headed down to Jacksonville last year, we stopped at a gas station near the state line. And we had our Georgia stuff on, so this guy calls us over to his truck.

"Hey boys," he said, or something like that. "Take a look in the back."

"That's what we gon' do to those gators," he said.

Saturday, October 4, 2008


My buddy Dan on the Tennessee game:
You gotta realize these guys have manhandled our lines 3 out of the last 4 years.

And Fulmer doesn't want to get fired, I guarantee you.
Remember the good old days, when you just couldn't imagine Tennessee even keeping it close against this team, coming off a bye week?

Friday, October 3, 2008

What's his middle name, "Ain't?"

Can you find the irony here?

Also, something I just told a police officer: "I'm not trying to be difficult, it's just in my nature."

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I'm finally ready for news about the Dawgs again

From Hale:
Figgins said he has no doubt he will play against the Volunteers.

Richt said former Bulldog Randall Godfrey addressed the team on Monday and provided just the right amount of motivation following the loss to Alabama.

"Everything's good, everything's fine, there's no worries," Moreno said. "I'll be there (against Tennessee), I'll be ready to go."

In a recent column for, Forde ranked this week's AP top 25 in order of each team's APR, which tracks academic progress for their players. The Bulldogs ranked No. 1 with a score of 965, one point ahead of Wake Forest and Penn State.

Penn State, though, scores several points ahead of us in the "having guys arrested" category.

Chain email wisdom

One of my aunts sent me this today:

Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.