Aaron Murray is our best qb, idiot

In which I take some of the dumber thoughts emanating from Bill King's readers and respond to them as if this were my own "fan talk."

I know there’s a segment of Bulldogs fandom that’s very down on Murray and convinced that Mark Richt and Mike Bobo are blindly letting him hold on to the starting quarterback’s job despite the obvious talents of backups Hutson Mason and Christian LeMay. Some folks even believe there’s some sort of “conspiracy” to keep Murray in a job he doesn’t deserve.

Let me stop you right there, Bill. Those people are morons. They should be deprived of water, oxygen and seats in Sanford Stadium. All three are too valuable to waste.

Billkingisatroll: Anyone who thinks bill king’s articles are insightful or interesting are probably as trollish as he is- George, Blindog. Are ur also bearded trolls?

Pay close attention, idiot, because I'm going to get into subjects you're probably not comfortable with. The first is math. As of now, there are 38 comments on this particular Bill King post. You made five of them. That's more than 13 percent. Second: Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Or subject-verb agreement? Reconsider your life.

Stephen A.Dogg: Still no real changes for UGA in 2012. Nothing has changed but a few names on and off the roster.

Holy shit. You are too dumb to breath.

gadawgs: In my opinion Mason or LeMay could put up those kind of numbers right now and they would atleast have an excuse due to experience and so forth. Murray has no excuse. I have been off the Murray train for the past two years telling my fellow Dawg fans such.

Let's set aside the fact that you haven't seen a single UGA practice and are basing your opinion on Mason and LeMay on ... nothing, more or less. You've been "off the Murray train" for two years? So, since the spring of 2010? When he hadn't played a down of college football? When he would still, by your logic, "have an excuse due to experience and so forth?" Please have a fifth grader in remedial English read your comments before posting. You'll learn something.

Game Changer: WHY IS MARK RICHT PROTECTING MURRAY AND NOT PROMOTING COMPETITION? This question has still not been answered, Murray stats actually suck. Take away touchdown passes, he is terrible. Aaron Murray would not start at any school in the SEC East other than Georgia. Just the facts.

Congratulations. You are king of the morons.

SB Nation: Irresponsible and successful publishing

It says a lot about today's media that this guy:



... can type up his thoughts and these guys will just throw it up on the Internet, generating hundreds, if not thousands, of hits and thus advertising revenue.

Even better, they do it with the following caveats. From the blog's editors:

This content was not created by OBNUG and therefore may not meet our standards. On the contrary, it probably exceeds them.

And from the author himself in the comments:

idk if these facts are correct but that is what i found, i’d appreciate the feedback so i can get these facts correct

"Pro Quality, Fan Perspective," indeed.

Internet loosers worth ignoring

This post on The Senator's blog presents a good opportunity to lay out an Internet truism. If you mistake "there" for "their" or "loose" for "lose" once in a conversation, that should be ignored.

If you do it twice or more, no one should listen to anything you say ever again.

The Internet is an amazing thing, but it's tendency to hand megaphones to idiots is a problem the rest of us need to bear in mind.

So, you're saying you're incompetent, yes?

I don't know what all goes into being the Georgia Bulldogs' "exclusive multimedia rights partner," but I'm pretty sure "don't let our domain name expire" is on that list.

From IMG:

"As you may be aware, the official website of the Georgia Bulldogs, www.georgiadogs.com, experienced an unexpected and unintentional outage on March 31 and April 1. Site accessibility problems occurred in certain parts of the country due to an oversight on the renewal of the domain name."

Jesse Palmer is out of control

Joe: Look at his hair. I think it's out of control.

Me: It's definitely out of control.

Terry Jones: Dangerous, hilarious

Are we ready to laugh at this dipshit yet?

A.J. snags 4-game suspension for having sex with the cleaning lady

Good grief. From the NCAA:

University of Georgia football student-athlete A.J. Green must miss four games as a condition of becoming eligible to play again, according to a decision today by the NCAA student-athlete reinstatement staff.

The university declared the student-athlete ineligible for violations of NCAA agent benefits rules. According to the facts of the case submitted by Georgia, the student-athlete sold his Independence Bowl game jersey to an individual who meets the NCAA definition of an agent. Green has repaid the $1,000 value of benefits to charity. According to NCAA rules, an agent is any individual who markets or promotes a student-athlete.

The university can appeal, and I hope it will, because I'd rather A.J. Green not miss three SEC games. Certainly the NCAA showed with the Masoli case that they're willing to do an about face when nothing changes except 3 days pass.

And while I have no expectation of consistency from the NCAA, there's a good argument that this suspension is much harsher than the one recently handed down at Alabama. Still, selling your jersey to an agent for $1,000 strikes me as the kind of thing that you should know you're going to get pinched for.

Selling your jersey to anyone for $1,000 seems like the kind of thing you should know you're going to get pinched for.


Costanza-esque: not a descriptor you should aim for.

Instant analysis from the L.I. team:

Dan: He sold a jersey to an agent for $1,000. He's lucky he's playing again. But it ain't a big deal. It's just going to be that much more awesome when Georgia wins the National Championship and A.J. wins the Heisman for 8 games.

Joe: Who's the Moe in our version of The 3 Stooges? There's got to be someone in charge of poking eyes and breaking balls.

Huff: What does AJ Green even need to be meeting with an agent for? Surprise, you're going in the first round. You can make me your agent.

Update: A.J. says he's learned "a valuable lesson" from this. That's not quite saying "Was that wrong ... I gotta plead ignorance on this thing," but it's close.

Impressive incompetence at Zoo Atlanta

I imagine you followed this story over the weekend. A particularly toxic rattlesnake went missing from the Atlanta zoo. Zoo officials, saying they believed it was trapped somewhere in a building not accessible to the public, decided they didn't need to put up signs, or take extra care to inform people living in nearby residential areas.

Someone found the snake near their house and killed it.

From The AJC:

Zoo spokeswoman Keisha Hines said Sunday the nocturnal snake was believed to be still inside the building where it was housed, which is not accessible to the public. But Hines could not say why staff thought the snake was still in that building. Hines said signs warning the public were not needed.

"Hindsight being 20/20, we probably should've knocked on a few doors," (Zoo Atlanta deputy director Dwight) Lawson said. The local neighborhood association was alerted, he said, and an announcement was made to visitors at the zoo Saturday, he said, though there was no follow-up announcement Sunday.

Yeah, hindsight. That's what it takes. No one could be expected to figure that out using foresight.

Update: In hindsight, I've changed my mind. I mean, it was in the newspaper - albeit with the caveat of "We think it's in this building ... although we can't find it or tell you why we think that."

So let this be a lesson to you: Read the newspaper, or a rattlesnake might kill one of your children.

Ridiculous, North Carolina

This intersection is in Garner, N.C. It bothers me every time I drive by.



911? Yeah, send the trucks to the corner of dumbass and stupid.

The Vuvuzela calls for profanity-laced tirades

Note: There's a lot of profanity in this, and an angry indictment of an entire nation. But I did take out the parts about Mexican soccer fans and donkeys.

I need somebody to explain these fucking things to me.

I mean, what's the point here? Is it really to mess with opposing players' heads, or is to stand there with a pack of idiots and blow into a plastic tube like a dumbass?

I mean, I'm sitting here watching the World Cup and the noise from these things varies, but there's a constant loud din. How does that give either side an edge? I can see the advantage on a set piece, since verbal communication would be more important for the defense, but what's the deal the rest of the time?

Seriously, is there anyone out there who has sat in the stands blowing one of these things who will explain to me what the fuck you think you're accomplishing?

Because fucking fuck. It's not even the noise that bothers me, it's that the whole thing just seems stupid. That and I'm pissed off that I had to learn how to spell "vuvuzela" to write this.

I have a buddy, and he's one of the few people I know in this country who actually goes to soccer games from time to time. He and the other U.S. citizen who does that both deemed these things useless.

"Near as I can tell, the only decent use of a vuvuzela ever witnessed was during the 2007 Gold Cup," my friend said. "When cameras at some lesser match (like Honduras v. Canada or some shit) showed a guy sitting in the stands, with the end in his mouth, as two other guys dumped full beers into it, using it as a massive beer bong."

Look what the South African company selling these things says:

"Put your lips inside the mouthpiece and almost make a 'farting' sound. Relax your cheeks and let your lips vibrate inside the mouthpiece. As soon as you get that trumpeting sound, blow harder until you reach a ridiculously loud 'boogying blast.'

Congratulations Boogieblast. I hate your entire fucking country now and it's your fucking fault. That's right. I got over apartheid, and now I think South Africa sucks because of your stupid fucking plastic horns.

Wikipedia says that, though the horns are certainly most common in South Africa, they have "been used in Mexican stadiums since the 1970s."

Well, that sounds about right. Those urine-box toting fucks would have a hand in this.

So what are we left with?

“This is our culture,” Lucas Radebe, the captain of South Africa’s World Cup team in 1998 and 2002 told The New York Times. “This is how we create our national rhythm and dance.”

Then your national rhythm and dance suck, Lucas. They suck.

The ACC is years ahead of its time

Provided that time is June, 2004.

From Tiger Illustrated ($$) last Thursday:

Clemson president James Barker is part of an ACC task force being formed to examine the issue of expansion and how it could affect the conference, Tigerillustrated.com has learned.

BP: Basically South Carolina's fan base

Like a lot of people I've been watching BP's stock, wondering when it will be time to buy in and go long. I'm beginning to think the answer is never.

Look at this screen capture from BP's Web site, and note the first headline under recent updates:



Congratulations, assholes. You've reached a stratospheric level of not getting it. You're some combination of Kevin Bacon and the guys who started this Facebook page.

Here's the full release, which begins like this:

BP notes the fall in its share price in US trading last night. The company is not aware of any reason which justifies this share price movement.

BP continues to keep the market updated on the Gulf of Mexico oil spill through regular announcements. The response to this incident is our top priority.

New plan. Where do I invest in destroying you?

I am tired of not even having to make fun of you

For it's promotional commercial during the Orange Bowl, Georgia tech chose to highlight, on national television, the fact that it runs a tricycle race every year.

Michigan cop "overdoses" on marijuana

This is the funniest thing that has ever happened in law enforcement.

Botching that kickoff: What kills you, kills you

If you do something badly, eventually it does you in. Eventually a ref calls a B.S. celebration penalty and exacerbates it. Eventually you lose your freaking mind, kick from the huddle for the first time in the game and get an illegal formation penalty.

Eventually, everything you do wrong goes wrong all at once, because you're dumb. Like a skipping record that scratches.

I think that's the lesson from this piece by David Hale:

By my count, that's 22 miscues on kickoffs following either crucial Georgia scores or to start a half in just the past 18 games. Twenty-two! In 18 games!

Auburn: Down, but still dumb

Perhaps this picture has been on the Internet forever. But its message is timeless.




In other news about people being stupid, Dawgs Online hit the nail on the head on this Forbes report.

"If you pay $2,000 for a single game ticket, you and your money were going to be parted soon anyway."

Image: If you took this picture I would like to meet you.

Hawaii head coach too stupid to open mouth

This is easily my favorite part of the story:

McMackin made his comments in front of about a dozen reporters, most with voice recorders, and a WAC video camera. He then tried to convince reporters not to write about his comments.

“Just please … cover for me,” McMackin said Thursday. “Go ahead, say ‘faggot dance.’ No. Please cover for me on that, too — right Karl? I’ll deny it. Anything else?”

Karl referred to WAC commissioner Karl Benson, who was in the room when McMackin concluded his comments.

You'd have to set up chart with subtypes to categorize all that stupidity.

"Only vampires live forever"

This ad is as dumb as anything I've seen in a while, and I've been in a third world country for the last two weeks.

Signing Day, Bobby Knight and Steve Martin with a gun

I would like to publicly thank Lane Kiffin for taking any of the ire that Urban Meyer or Nick Saban might have stored for the University of Georgia and focusing it directly on the University of Tennessee instead.

Hiring a coach that got fired by the Oakland Raiders. How could that not work out?
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I saw yesterday that, of the 20 kids Purdue signed, 14 of them are from Florida.
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What Lane Kiffin said about Urban Meyer was a big deal. It was a big deal and Urban Meyer won't forget it. And it will be dealt with. It will be dealt with by Urban Meyer.
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There was moment yesterday when some tool bag anchor was kissing Gene Chizik's ass over Auburn's recruiting class when I wondered: "Should I actually worry about this guy?"

Surely not, right? Right?
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Speaking of Bobby Knight, I see that this moron is putting on the full court press to bring the once-great coach to Athens.

Look, I think it would be cool to have Coach Knight running the show for a little while, too. But, seriously, do you really think that's the best move here?

Please read this if you object:

Over their last three seasons both Felton and Knight each coached 86 games, and each left their jobs before the end of the season. Their records were:

45-41 for Felton
48-38 for The General

Knight won exactly three more games than DF, and they went to the same number of NCAA tournament games. Some upgrade that would be.

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This is hilarious. But you have to watch a 30 second commercial first. When did we get to a place where that was nearly unacceptable?

A Red and Black swarm to Tempe

I saw that Terrence Moore at The AJC said Sun Devil stadium would be like an SEC stadium.

I'm not aware of any SEC locales you can call as an opponent and buy seven sets of season tickets for $700.


You want it? You got it. Image: The Internet, via Martians Attacking Indianapolis, via Hey Jenny Slater.

Memo to ASU: Overconfidence works better when you don't lose to UNLV. From some paper I've never heard of:

No slight to next week's opponent, Nevada-Las Vegas, but Arizona State's 41-17 win over Stanford on Saturday removed the last real obstacle to a showdown with the nation's No. 2 team two weeks from now.

You know it, I know it and the ASU student section knew it as it held up dozens of "Bring on Georgia" signs early in the fourth quarter.

I'm glad to know Chick-fil-A has a presence in Tempe. Chicken biscuits go well with destroying you.