Stallone, Willis, Axl, 85 girls and fire

Sylvester Stallone and Bruce Willis together in a movie with 'Paradise City' in the trailer? I don't care that they're sure to be awful, make 10.
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Chad Ochocinco has a new dating show on VH1 that started with him bringing 85 women into the Rose Bowl dressed in short shorts and tight football jerseys.

Then he had them do stretches. Then he picked 16 of them, ranked them and seeded them in a bracket-style elimination tournament for his affections.

I'm not saying you should watch, I'm saying that's how you do it. Also, I'm saying you should watch.
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Lead blog analyst Joe Petersen points you toward this story:

... deputies found the man naked on the side of U.S. Route 70 with his prosthetic leg in flames. Deputies learned that the man and his friends were drinking Monday and bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire.

The man told investigators that at six beers, he drank the least, and agreed to let his friends set him on fire.

Joe: We'll get you drunk and set you on fire. And then we will drive you halfway to the hospital and drop you off with your prosthetic leg. Those are my kind of people right there.

Nothing good happens after 2 a.m., North Carolina

North Carolina's General Assembly met until 5:30 a.m. this morning. Is it any wonder that things got weird?

L.I. endorsed: The Flying Melon

If you find yourself on Ocracoke Island in North Carolina's Outer Banks, I recommend the Flying Melon Cafe.

Jordan Love and the UGA cops: What the what?

This Jordan Love arrest is just chock full of unnecessary stupid.

The report says Love couldn't or wouldn't spell his middle name. And yet, there it is, on the same report (download from The Red & Black). It's Lawrence. Yet the chief of police acts like it's some family secret.

The report says Love wouldn't give his date of birth, and it's not on the report at all. Does this young man not have a drivers license? At some point in the training process for UGA cops, do they not say "Ask people for their drivers licenses?"

Officer Kevin Thompson confiscated a lighter and at least one firework from Love and took them into evidence, but Love wasn't charged with shooting fireworks, just this obstruction thing. Now Love's family has hired not just one, but two attorneys (8th paragraph)?

And who the hell calls the cops because someone's lighting off fireworks at 9:40 p.m. on July 5?

Apparently, a guy named Stephen C. Rogers who, interestingly, spells his middle name "Christophe."

Update: The AJC reports that this case is moving forward. If I'm Love's attorneys I think exhibit A for me is one of the numerous newspaper articles where the chief of police basically said there was no case.

Hire Foley's apprentice, bring balance to the conference

Me: The Georgia graduate who's been training at the foot of the master? Assuming Mark Richt's OK with him, I think we should get that guy.

Joe: Let's call him Annakin.

This Damon Evans situation needs to end with an upgrade. I look forward to watching Greg McGarity choke people with his mind.

President Adams has a press conference today at 2 p.m. I'm assuming Fox 5 Atlanta, which streamed Evans' press conference last week, will do the same for Adams.

Update: I watched most of President Adams' presser. Some key points:

• Damon resigned, but it was "after he and I had a meeting on Friday."
• There is no timetable to hire a new AD, but Adams quipped that he'd "like to have it concluded today." He noted that "anyone that you want already has a good job and so you have to work with someone else's schedule as well as your own."
• "The first look (for a new AD) is outside," but that doesn't mean Adams won't promote from within. Still, he said, "I want an outside opinion to take a hard look at what we're doing."
• Adams is meeting with coaches and senior staffers today at 4 p.m. He hasn't talked to Coach Richt yet.
• Said he had "not had any reason to question (Damon's) judgement" prior to this incident.
• Said he didn't "know of any material facts other than the ones that have been reported" in this case.
  

Quiet into that good night

I certainly hope this is true. By the time most of the world pays attention again Tuesday morning we can be well into what I hope will be a quick, and quiet, replacement search.

Monday update: Done and done. Looks like it's a $237,000 settlement, per Tim Tucker.

Sorry Damon, but we're done here

Best of luck rebuilding, my friend.

Bill King:

"No institution wants a drunken punchline as its public face."

Damon Evans: Massive self whammy

It's not just that Damon Evans has been charged with DUI. It's not just that he was charged with DUI because he was driving erratically and failed a field sobriety test.

It's not just that he was charged with DUI because he was driving erratically and failed a field sobriety test and refused a breathalyzer.

It's not just that he was charged with DUI because he was driving erratically and failed a field sobriety test and refused to take a breathalyzer and had some mysterious passenger with him who was also arrested for unknown reasons.

It's that the mugshot looks like this.

Joe: That's a doozy.

Me: I think Gen. McChrystal's available.

Update: The fact that Director's Cup standings came out this morning doesn't help, either:

Before finishing 18th last year, Georgia had been in the top 15 of the Directors’ Cup standings for 11 consecutive years, including top-10 finishes in eight of the 11 years. This year’s showing is Georgia’s poorest since finishing 28th in 1997.

Update: At the very least, we're going to need a new public service announcement for home games.

Update: This just gets more painful. From Mark Schlabach:

Evans, who played wide receiver at Georgia from 1988-92, received a five-year contract extension in February that raised his annual salary to $550,000. His new salary was set to take effect on Thursday.

Update: Channel 2 identifies the other person arrested as a 28-year-old woman who was charged with disorderly conduct. That's a relief. All day I've been dreading the moment when the phrase "male prostitute" would enter this story.

Of course, this woman is also not Damon's wife (see official bio), so this isn't exactly positive news.

This is the final update on this post. As the world knows, Damon is going to make a statement at 6:30 this evening. If I have anything "worth" adding to that, I'll do it in another post.

Ridiculous, North Carolina

This intersection is in Garner, N.C. It bothers me every time I drive by.



911? Yeah, send the trucks to the corner of dumbass and stupid.

Sword weilding bin Laden hunter booked for Letterman tonight

From The L.A. Times:

Gary Faulkner, the American detained in Pakistan while on his self-imposed mission to kill Osama bin Laden, will appear on the “Late Show with David Letterman.”

Joe: He's my new favorite American.

Our ghostbusting movies are better than our soccer

My thanks to whoever put Ghostbusters on cable yesterday after the World Cup game. It helped.

...

I try hard not to steal professional pictures here. But this shot, from Guillermo Arias for the Associated Press, is the U.S.'s last game against Ghana for me.















Sending the goalie down. What could be more desperate, or less necessary if we'd played better defense?

...

I also recommend these pictures of former President Bill Clinton hanging out with Mick Jagger.

Random facebook post from someone yesterday: "LOVE that Mick Jagger & Bill Clinton are BFFs. That should be a friggin' sitcom."

...

Wait, Snoop Dawg is in a Star Wars themed soccer commercial?

...

Wait, Time Magazine's co-founder loved acid?

...

Lady Gaga wore stupid shoes and fell down.

...

See if you can guess where this article jumps on the stupid train:

He adds that there could even be other 3-D universes “embedded alongside ours”.

“In theory, there could be another entire universe less than a millimetre away from us, but we are oblivious to it because that millimetre is measured in a fourth spatial dimension and we are imprisoned in just three,” he said.

“Some aspects of reality — a unified theory of physics or a full understanding of consciousness — might elude us simply because they’re beyond human brains, just as surely as Einstein’s ideas would baffle a chimpanzee,” he said. ...

The scientific mysteries that may be beyond us include

* Multiple dimensions — string theory suggests space has up to 11 dimensions, but mathematicians have struggled to prove this

* Consciousness — scientists suggest consciousness derives from chemical reactions in the brain but cannot explain how this might generate a sense of self

* Are we real? — Rees and other physicists have suggested the universe and humanity are part of a giant computer simulation as seen in the Matrix films.

...

Finally, I don't know where this picture was taken, but I think the answer should be "everywhere."

The National Anthem: Meant to be sung

If you tuned in for the very beginning of the U.S. - Ghana match yesterday, you heard an incredible rendition of our National Anthem, sung by Americans out numbered and thousands of miles away from their home.



This video doesn't really do it justice. But, Georgia Bulldogs, when Tom Jackson says "Please join in the Sanford Stadium tradition of singing our national anthem," that is what you are supposed to sound like.

Except you've got 92,000, standing on their own free soil.

Isner downed quickly at Wimbledon

There just wasn't anything left in the tank for our boy. But everyone in tennis will remember that first round match.

Tony Hayward, you son of a bitch, all Americans have talent.

It's not enough to screw up our beaches and smother our pelicans, you have to infiltrate NBC's mediocre Wednesday night lineup too?

You suck, Tony Hayward.


Yeah. I don't know why I was watching America's Got Talent.

UGA's Isner at Wimbledon, in world's longest tennis match

John Isner, class of 2007, is locked now in the longest tennis match in the sport's history.

He's trying to get past Nicolas Mahut and clear the first round at Wimbledon for the first time in his career.

Update: This is just ridiculous. They've suspended play again. From The New York Times:

On Wednesday, it resumed, but after 118 games in the fifth set, which itself would be the longest match in Wimbledon history, the sun set and play had to be suspended again.

You can watch the tape delay now (4:50 p.m. eastern) on ESPN2. According to the broadcast, Isner has smashed the world record for aces in a match, recording more than 90.

Thursday update: Our man John Isner has won. Damn good dawg.

L.I. endorsed: 30 for 30

The Two Escobars, like many of ESPN's 30 for 30 movies, is very good.


Though it's long, and the Spanish isn't translated perfectly.

The documentary included footage of the single most ridiculous thing I've ever seen a soccer player do. It's called the "scorpion kick."


Useful. Goalie Rene Higuita would miss the 1994 World Cup for visiting a drug lord in the drug lord's fake prison.

Henley: "If I never play another round ..."

From The Telegraph:

“If I never play another round of golf, then this is enough,” Henley said after shooting a 2-over-par 73 in the final round. “This was just the most amazing experience.”

He finished tied for 16th.

Sept. 11 pictures

My fiance, who used to live in New York, recently found a packet of pictures from the days surrounding Sept. 11. It was odd to find that, unexpected in a closet.

She has no idea where they came from, but they appear to have been taken by emergency personnel. If your name is Frank Pena, or you are or know any of the people in picture 5, email me at ctfain(a)yahoo.com.

This is the man who cheated

Koman Coulibaly.

"He wouldn't tell us what the call was."
- Landon Donovan to ESPN after the match

Those guys should do that

From the Associated Press:

SEATTLE -- Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and billionaire investor Warren Buffett are launching a campaign to get other American billionaires to give at least half their wealth to charity.